Critique Summary of “Camino Del Diablo, a journey of hope”

Melody Jackson, Ph.D.,Founder & Chief Exec Smart Girls Productions

Screenplay by Guillermo Munro

I was taken in by your script from the first page.  I was interested in seeing what’s next in the entire script--which is great.  There’s the story itself, and I was also very much struck by the tonal quality of your script, the mood that was created.  I was completely immersed in the world of trying to survive the terribly intense and hot desert.

Your idea is excellent, and the story is in the vein of The Treasure of Sierra Madre meets Lord of the Flies, with some light comedic moments along the way.  It raises the question of how far human beings will go to survive as they slowly come face to face with death. Overall, you have a very good story, one that I would love to see on the screen.  I believe it could be a classic movie--a must-see movie. .

Your basic story is about people who have a dream of a better life, what they will go through to get it.  Your idea is very powerful. 

Set in the Great Depression era,  a motley band of Mexican and other characters and a few others find a guide to take them on an ominous journey across the desert to cross the border into the land of dreams, the United States of America. The development focal point is very strong. 

You have several twists and surprises, including when the driver gets sick and they have to go back to town.  Another one is when Yuma Joe and Ron Smith turn on the gang and take the car after they saved their lives.  You have plenty surprises and twists in the plot.

The intensity and momentum continues to build throughout the script, things start happening very quickly toward the end. 

You have done a great job of delineating your characters and distinguishing them from each other. Hemet, Petro, Laura and Lucas among others. I got a very clear sense of who most of them were and what their personality was like on the trip.  That’s great.  Your dialogue is quite good. The mood is consistent and nothing seems out of place.

An excellent project in the vein of The Treasure of Sierre Madre meets Lord of the Flies.  I really love your script and I see lots of potential for developing.

The biggest production value is the trip across the desert, the blazing sun, the dunes, the vastness.  It might be beneficial to make one or two more of the main characters Americans, but you would have to work it out to fit the story.  It’s not necessary, but an idea.

Great story, Guillermo.  Thank you for having me critique your script.  It was a real pleasure.

Best of luck to you in your writing, 

Melody Jackson, Ph.D.